10 Signs You are Succeeding At Life Even When It Doesn’t Feel Like It

Shannon Kaiser wrote an interesting piece titled 25 Signs You Are Succeeding At Life (Even If It Doesn’t Feel Like It) that I find very interesting…

Via MindBodyGreen.com…

Most of us are so busy trying to dodge life bullets, we forget to stop and appreciate the little victories. And yet, these small successes are the feedback our subconscious minds need to keep us on the right track for the bigger successes.

Consider for a moment that you’re doing a tremendous job at life. Living isn’t an easy thing to do, but it can be enjoyable when we start to see the good instead of focusing on the bad.

Far as I’m concerned you are actually living a good life if you can recognize just these 10 signs:

>You’re not afraid to ask for help and support.

>Where you live feels like home.

>You let go of things that don’t make you feel good.

>You have moments where you appreciate who you see in the mirror.

>You’re working on limiting your inner critic and consciously choosing more positive thoughts.

>You’ve learned that setbacks and failure are part of self-growth.

>You’ve accepted what you can’t change, but change what you can’t accept.

>You have passions that you pursue.

>You feel connected to your work.

>You love deeply and open yourself up to be loved by others.

Be grateful for these small successes and milestones on the path to success and this will give you the forward momentum and boost you need to reach your bigger success goals.

What Self-made Millionaires Do That This Tax Man Couldn’t

Talk of creative geniuses… We are all geniuses at inventing reasons why we cannot have what we really want. Except that, if you are not prepared to pay the price, then you will never achieve your more cherished goals. It’s as simple as that.

The answer, if you want to succeed at anything, is to set it as a goal, and resolve to pay the price in advance.  It doesn’t matter if your goal is to lose 10 pounds or 40, or to stop smoking, to become a millionaire, or to get good grades in school.

Take this tax man who desired to become a millionaire (and drive a Ferrari). His story will bring a smile to your lips I promise, as it is told by Richard Dobbins and Barrie Pettman in What Self-Made Millionaires Really Think, Know and Do: A Straight-Talking Guide to Business Success and Personal Riches (page 60)

“We recently experienced an investigation by the tax man. He told us, ‘We always investigate people with Rolls-Royces.’

Everything turned out to be satisfactory. As we were about to wave him farewell, he looked up the drive and said, ‘You know, it does not matter how hard I work at my job in the Inland Revenue, I will never be able to afford a house like that or a car like that.’

This is music to our ears. We asked him, ‘Would you like to own a house like that and a car like that?’. ‘Oh, yes. I’d do anything’, he replied. We quickly established that his area of excellence is taxation.

We suggested that he get out of the public sector, spend two years with a firm of accountants, discovering how they argue the case for the other side, and then set up his own tax planning advisory service.

He immediately came up with three reasons (rocks) for not taking our free advice.

‘Firstly’, he said, ‘I could not give up the pension scheme in which I have already accumulated 22 years’ contributions. Secondly, if I go to work for a firm of accountants, I could be made redundant, something which will not happen in the Revenue. Thirdly, I think people should pay more tax, not less.’ We reminded him that he did say that he would do anything.

Of course, he was not prepared to leave his comfort zone, or change his attitude towards taxation.”

Are you prepared to leave your comfort zone? Sure… you want to change your life, to become more successful – whatever success means to you. Are you, like the tax man content with the little bit of success you already enjoy? After all a bird in the hand is better than the two in the bush…

Don’t forget, “If you stay as you are, you stay where you are”

Here’s what it means, “comfort zone” Hopefully I will make you hate the term… I know I’m going to show you how to get out of one!

Comfort zone = No Effort Needed Zone

Comfort zone = No Change Zone

Comfort zone = No Challenge Zone

Comfort zone = No Movement Zone

Comfort zone = No Growth Zone

Are you really sure you want to stay within your comfort zone?

It’s always terrifying to some of us to move outside our comfort zones. Most people, at least once in their lives, will face a situation where change is inevitable, and the whole prospect physically terrifying. It has happened to me. But other people manage to change, despite their fears.

For your personal growth its essential you will have to abandon your comfort zones.

It’s easy to get complacent in life. We all tend to do the same things we’ve always done. We take the same routes to work. We eat the same things. We talk to the same people. There’s a nice familiarity about it all.

But to grow, to become successful, you need to change. Sometimes, you need radical changes to your lifestyle. Other times you just need a bit of a change. Whatever or whichever it may be, sometimes you’ve just got to move out of your comfort zone, and into something new.

Here’s how…

>Think of it as a game. A game is something where there are winners and losers, but you mainly play for the fun of it. Personal change can be like that – when you think of it as a game, the change becomes fun.

>Set a timetable, and follow it. A lot of people know they need to get out of their comfort zone, but they feel hesitant about it. For those people, set a date to change – yes, I know it sounds odd – and then change on that date.

>Realize that change is not your enemy – it’s your friend, at least when you are the one managing the change. You can control it – and the feeling of control is enough to allay most people’s fears about moving out of the zombie zone – excuse me, “comfort zone” – and into something that will be better for you in the long run.

So, you want a Rolls-Royce – or is it a Ferrari?

Sorry to disappoint, but if you really want to radically change your circumstances you are going to have to choose – are you a government man (or a company employee), or you’d rather be an independent entrepreneur?

If you are embarking on a journey to change something or some things in your life, fix your stumbling blocks and move into the challenge zone – and develop a new comfort zone in the process.

How To Defeat I Can’t And Become A I Can Do That Person (Part 2)

Truth be told, you can never know what is possible until you’ve gone beyond it.

Sure, there will always be some things that you don’t do very well. It’s all part of growing up that you recognize areas where you might be weak, and then choosing to either fix those weak areas, or choosing to concentrate on your strengths.

Some other things you may not be physically capable of doing. If you are less than 5 foot tall, championship basketball maybe isn’t for you – although it’s possible you can grow taller, and jump higher! And this shouldn’t be a limit that negatively impacts the rest of your life – unless you make it so.

When you choose to become a “I can do that” type of person you will naturally be looking at stuff you can realistically achieve, with the right attitude.

“I can’t” is an attitude of mind – a very negative attitude. And very damaging, because, the more you say “I can’t do that,” the more you cut yourself out of life.

I’m sure you have met people where you work or live that “can’t” do anything. Maybe it’s a friend who “can’t” help others, or an acquaintance who “can’t” manage his money.

Maybe you have a family member who “can’t” stop drinking, or a boss who “can’t” stop belittling her employees. Perhaps you know someone who “can’t” make cold calls to would-be customers, or another who “can’t” get to work on time. I know people who “can’t” stop eating chocolate…

But here’s the stinker: At a basic level all of these “can’ts” aren’t “can’ts” at all. They’re just plain “won’ts.”

You could be saying to yourself –and to others – that you won’t stop smoking, or you won’t stop drinking, or you won’t be bothered to be punctual, etc.

These days, victims seem to get all the press. When you start to whine a lot, saying, “I can’t do that,” you pour yourself into the “victim” mold. Are you perhaps expecting the people around you to take a look, and say “poor baby”?

I didn’t think so!

Any time you are tempted to say or think, “I can’t,” remember this:

When you were learning to walk, your mother didn’t say: “Oh, poor baby –you fell down. You must just not be made to walk. Just stop trying, and I’ll carry you around for the rest of my life.”

She didn’t. Instead, she picked you up, patted you on the behind, and you tried to walk again. She actively encouraged you to learn. She told you that you could do it. She helped you turn a defeat into a triumph. Never again did you think “I can’t walk – I just can’t do it.”

Contrast this triumph with the sounds you hear every day: “Oh… I can’t do that.” “I was never good at that.” “I don’t know how to do that.” “It’s not in my job description.” “It’s not the way we do it around here.”

When you choose to say, “I can’t,” you make a self-fulfilling prophecy.

If you say “I can’t” enough, then pretty soon you’re right. You can’t do it. Soon, you’ll find you can’t do anything.

Yes, the words we use do make a difference. They dictate the thoughts we choose, the future we see, and the opportunities we accept.

Choose “I can,” and all of a sudden, you’ll find your thoughts are positive, your life unfettered. Choose “I can’t,” and you’ll be a helpless victim for the rest of your life.

“Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives.” ….Tony Robbins

Overcoming your limiting beliefs

As we’ve seen, the beliefs we hold are largely independent of the reality associated with those beliefs. We choose what to believe, and how to believe it. We filter our experiences through the belief structure we hold.

Your beliefs can either empower you, or they can doom you.

Believe that you can’t do something, as we saw in the Henry Ford quote, and you’ll be right. Believe you can accomplish something of worth, and that too can become your destiny.

In other words, you limit where you are going by the beliefs you choose.

“When you choose a destination, you eliminate all other destinations. When you choose a course of action, you eliminate other possibilities. When you choose a belief system to use as a standard, you choose the way you look at the events that happen to you in your life.” – Daryl Gibson

Belief can be a powerful ally, or a dangerous adversary. Here’s what success expert Tony Robbins says about belief:

“People so often develop limiting beliefs about who they are and what they’re capable of. Because they haven’t succeeded in the past, they believe they won’t be able to succeed in the future.” (in “Awaken the Giant Within”).

You may think you are being “realistic,” by saying to yourself “I can’t do that”, or “I’m not cut out for it,” etc, when the “realism” is not reality, just your perception of reality.

“They can conquer who believe they can,” said the philosopher Virgil. In order to conquer the past, and put your negative and self-limiting beliefs behind you, you must learn to see yourself in a new, more positive light.

With a positive state of mind, and a new outlook on life, you can accomplish many things that once seemed impossible to do. Just remember, when you stumble, to pick yourself up and continue – you have to become your own cheerleader.

We cover more on this, and how to leverage positive self talk, in Self Success Karaoke: Positive Self Talk For Wealth Attraction, Self-esteem and Positive Living (Self Success SMARTS)

Adapted from an article originally written by Daryl Gibson for SalesStar.com

How To Defeat I Can’t And Become A I Can Do That Person

“The winners in life think constantly in terms of I can, I will, and I am,” said noted performance coach and motivational speaker Dennis Waitley. “Losers, on the other hand, concentrate their waking thoughts on what they should have or would have done, or what they can’t do.”

Someone said that success is a matter of knowing where you’re going, knowing how to get there, and then moving constantly, predictably toward that destination. For you to move constantly and predictably forward you have to believe in yourself.

As Henry Ford observed, “Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you are right.”

Saying, or even thinking, “I can’t” stops you in your tracks, as effectively as slamming the brakes on a moving vehicle.

Psychologists have shown that simply by choosing different words and phrases, you can influence your moods – and by extension, change your life!

As an example, by choosing to look on a situation as a “challenge” or a “project,” instead of a “problem” you are already stacking the odds in your favor. You are forcing your mind to focus on the opportunities, the outcomes, and your abilities – not on the obstacles.

Choose one of the two positive words, and your problems suddenly become more manageable, and they take on a whole new, more positive, meaning.

Here’s another example:

Many people say to themselves, “I’m too much of a perfectionist.” What they are in fact saying to themselves (or should be saying to themselves) is, “I’m quality-conscious.”

Are you guilty of this? Because if you are, you are you’re looking at a virtue from the wrong side of the tracks!

Lots of us engage in negative self talk, without realizing how harmful it can be to our goals and our quality of life. We choose to look at our lives as problem-strewn, not full of possibilities. We look at the events in our lives from the wrong side, and by so labeling them, actually squeeze all the life out of the opportunities that arise.


Many of the words and phrases that we use have unforeseen effects in our lives. Studies tell us that the “subconscious” part of our brain listens to the labels that are applied to us. It then uses those labels as filters to view our self-image.

These simple negative words and phrases we use against ourselves can impact our lives in massive, unforeseen ways. When we fall into the “negative” phrasing trap, we bring all sorts of problems into our lives.

One of the most destructive of these simple phrases is “I can’t.” It takes the ignoble prize for self sabotage!

Most people usually get into using “I can’t” as a defense mechanism.  It serves as a convenient cover for skipping out on the things you don’t want to do. If you were never good at playing football or soccer, it was probably because you never took the time and energy to become good at it, or you didn’t want to get hurt, or to struggle. The others who became good at it took the time to develop the skill, they struggled, and “paid the price” to learn the sport. And so, as a defense mechanism you decided, “I can’t play football”.

Here’s the big problem with “I can’t”… it can keep you from knowing what you are really capable of. Because your assessment that something “can’t be done” is rarely accurate. And very often other people will set out to prove that your assessment is wrong.

Fifty years ago, men said we would “never get to the moon.” They were wrong.  Time and time again, ordinarily people set about attempting to accomplish the “impossible,” and, through their efforts (and their belief in themselves), they make the “impossible” possible.

When you learned how to walk, you couldn’t do it right off the bat. You fell, and got up, and fell again, and got up, and fell again, and got up. If you’ve watched babies learning how to walk, you may have seen it from their expressions that many of them almost seem convinced that it’s “simply impossible.”

And yet they don’t give up. Because, the real lesson when learning how to walk, is not that it’s easy to fall – rather that you have to get up after you’ve fallen, and try again.

When you make “I can’t” your watchword, you choose to stay down when you fall. You choose to become a victim. You choose to self-limit your life, and as a result, you limit your future.

“I can’t” becomes a cancer that takes over your being.

In another post we’ll see how to become an “I can do that” kind of person. But if negative self talk is something you struggle with (most people do), then I recommend you read Self Success Karaoke: Positive Self Talk For Wealth Attraction, Self-esteem and Positive Living (Self Success SMARTS)

Did you know you can “create your own luck”, simply by tuning out the negativity and tuning your subconscious mind in a positive direction – and the abundant possibilities that the universe has for you? You just have to ask people like Jack Canfield or Tony Robbins…

Adapted from an article by Daryl Gibson

How To Become A Serial Achiever?

Do you want to live the life of your dreams? Then you need to learn to piggyback on your small successes to achieve bigger goals… rather than under-reaching and basking on your mediocre milestones.

Here’s the story of a high-achieving Russian athlete… I find it inspiring.

At the Athens Olympics in 2004, one of the competitors in the pole vault event, Yelena Isinbayeva of Russia, won her gold medal. Her jump beat all the others, and with that her future place in history was assured.

But rather than let the matter rest there, this high-achieving lady had the bar reset – for the world record. She had never before cleared the bar at that height in competition, and she was under no responsibility to do so now. Other contenders may have just walked away, content with their gold medal.

Not Yelena. She had the bar reset to the world record, and then proceeded to sail right over it, seemingly as easy as if the bar were set a foot or so lower.

success begets success

She chose not to settle for mediocrity. This woman challenged herself, pushed herself, prodded herself, and gained a place in the record books as a result. She is one of only nine athletes (along with Valerie Adams, Usain Bolt, Veronica Campbell-Brown, Jacques Freitag, Kirani James, Jana Pittman, Dani Samuels, and David Storl) to win world championships at the youth, junior, and senior level of an athletic event.

At only 22, this was her seventh world record that year, although, according to BBC Sport, “she had been in tears on the verge of catastrophe only minutes earlier” when she achieved this breakthrough.

When you go for your lofty goals – and the not so lofty – you need to adopt that “never say die” mentality. You need to always ensure that you’re not settling for “just good enough.”

“Man’s proper stature is not one of mediocrity, failure, frustration, or defeat, but one of achievement, strength and nobility. Man can and ought to be a hero.” – Mike Mentzer

Someone said that “when you get right down to it, pushing ourselves farther than we ever realized we could go is the only way to make real progress.”

But what I really wanted to stress with this story of the super-achieving pole-vaulter is this: Success begets success. It can be argued that the adrenalin rush she experienced upon winning the gold medal was enough to propel her to greater heights…

Make a big thing of it when you achieve a small success, after all you should be your own cheerleader… But don’t stop there. Ride the forward momentum and go for successes in other areas of your life.

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