A Darn Simple Success Formula – Nuggets from the Pundits

This is a follow on article from the first one, “A Darn Simple Success Formula.”

Just to recap, Michael Bolduc offered a very simple success formula in “Power of Motivation.”

Here’s the formula you can use to achieve any goal in life:

Step 1: Know what you want.

Step 2: Take massive intelligent action.

Step 3: Notice what is working and what isn’t.

Step 4: Change your approach until you succeed.

I added a 5th step: Sustain your drive and motivation with visualization.

Simple enough, don’t you agree? And yet… if the key to success is so simple, why don’t most of us take Nike’s advice and “Just Do It?”

The answer lies between your ears – You alone can control your desires, and therefore your learning curve!

Brain Tracy said it: “Today the greatest single source of wealth is between your ears.” Meaning that if you use your mental resources intelligently he can’t see why you can’t become wealthy… everything else is already in place!

Because, like Colin Powell said: “There are not secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.”

This 5-step formula for success applies whatever you want to do – lose weight, better your marriage, get a girl/boy, make more money, etc. In the examples below I will be concentrating on getting rich 🙂

How to use this information

In this post I have tried to pass on the wisdom of many influential authorities on self development, self growth, and self-motivation, with a purpose to inspire creativity, productivity and forward momentum.

I want you to get things done; and to get closer to your goals. A lot of people I know are doing what they can, with varying degrees of success, to live the life of their dreams. It’s never very easy. A lot of us can use daily motivation from any source. This article is intended to nudge you forward.

This post is not a tutorial… More, it’s intended as a reference. Check where you are in the 5-step process regarding your major success goals and then reference the quotes I have given you to give you forward momentum. I have chosen high-impact quotes from people the whole world has come to respect. Enjoy!

Know What You Want

What do you want? What do you want to do in life? What do you want to achieve in life? What do you want to be in this world? What is your dream job?

Success comes easy when you do what you love to do.

“Forget about the fast lane. If you really want to fly, just harness your power to your passion” ~ Oprah Winfrey

Why drive when you can fly? Oprah is telling you that what you need, in order to become very successful, is to couple your power to your passion – and you’ll never look back!

This is how Oprah has lived her life and she knows what she’s talking about. She has become a billionaire through linking up her power and her passion, and this has provided her the energy and drive to triumph against tall odds. Oprah is entirely self-made, and you don’t need a better role model than that for young women, or indeed anybody, that wants to make it from humble beginnings.

Decide what you are good at and see if you can curve out a career doing it. Great cook – great cooking blog. Good golfer or good soccer also-run – great golf/soccer tutorial website or academy – or something similar. If you need more assurance, here it is:

“The biggest mistake people make in life is not trying to make a living at doing what they most enjoy.” – Malcolm Forbes

Take Massive Intelligent Action

“Always make a total effort, even when the odds are against you.” ~Arnold Palmer

Giving it everything you’ve got is always hard and sometimes, when the odds are stacked against you, it may become very tempting to just give in and give up. Except that when the odds aren’t in your favor this is the time to redouble your efforts. All successful achievers learn one thing, if nothing else – they learn to get the most out of themselves, to do what it takes. And with that comes persistence.

Calvin Coolidge said:

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan ‘Press On’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.”

Persistence means you can sail through frustration, defeat, and setbacks.

“Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.” – Marilyn vos Savant

I have mentioned intelligent action, so what exactly is intelligent action?

Intelligent action means goal-directed action. You focus on action that moves you ever closer to your goals. You prioritize high-leverage activities, which are activities that carry the biggest “payload”. So, if your goal is to make more money selling more of your product to customers, this could be the actions you do on a daily basis to market your product, to bring in more customers – or to improve its appeal in the market. How many new customers are you bringing in every day? This will determine your income…

Intelligent action also means staying focused. It means maximizing your time, keeping your goals in mind, keeping yourself in motion – and keeping faith in your idea. Because there will be setbacks, and going down blind alleys; and making mistakes; and wasting time with “solutions” that don’t work!

Which takes us to the 3rd step in the 5-step success formula…

Notice What’s Working And What Isn’t

This is how Sir Winston Churchill defined success, that:

“Success is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.” ~Winston Churchill

The keyword here is enthusiasm. Know-how has very little to do with success.  And as we have seen, persistence and determination are critical. But both these will not exist in the absence of enthusiasm.  In fact, enthusiasm is so critical to success this is what Dale Carnegie said about it, that:

“Flaming enthusiasm, backed up by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success.” –Dale Carnegie

We’ll talk about flaming enthusiasm in another post…

Take massive action, notice what’s working and what’s not, then change tack. When you look at your major goals, what’s not working? There’s always more than one ways to skin a cat. The greatest mistake is to give up, or to wallow in inaction when you don’t get the results you expected.

Change your approach until you succeed.

Thomas Edison made history as an inventor by inventing the light bulb, on his 10,000th try! But his genius transcends the science and the technology.  He became the world’s most accomplished “passive income” mogul!

Did you know that you are still paying Edison for your electricity even today?

First, though, this is what he said about pushing on until you succeed:

I failed my way to success.” and ….

Just because something doesn’t do what you planned it to do doesn’t mean it’s useless.” and ….

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas A. Edison    

How many ways have you found that “didn’t work?”

Anyway, back to Thomas Edison – and passive income… Thomas Edison is still billing you even today when you throw the light switch… and as such he beats the likes of Tim Ferris (“Four Hour Work Week”) by a long mile!

You see, Thomas A. Edison, “patent approved,” invented the electric company…

If you are subscribed to the SMARTS newsletter, you can read more how Thomas Edison could still be “fleecing you” on your lights, your cooking, and your social media “experience” in the next email. A crazy old joke you shouldn’t miss for all the limelight in the world.

How to Grow Your Wealth & Well-being With Abundance Affirmations (3)

How to Use Personal Affirmations

Before we look at how to craft effective personal affirmations let’s look at how to apply them to trick your subconscious mind.

How to use a person affirmation is really simple. You write down statements for each area that you want to focus on, let’s say wealth. Then you read these statements to yourself when your subconscious mind is most receptive to them – right before going to bed, and upon waking up.

8 Guidelines for Creating Personal Affirmations

The subconscious mind works a certain way and so when you wish to suggest changes to it, the suggestions have to be made a particular way. Here are some guidelines for writing your personal affirmation statements.

Write your affirmations in the present tense. Make sure you write in the present tense as if you have already achieved whatever it is that you want in life. So, for example, “I’m going to meet the man of my dreams” is bad. A better personal affirmation would be: “I have met the man of my dreams.”

Your personal affirmation statements must be realistic. While affirmations work, and have helped millions of people achieve their goals, this is not magic. So, writing down a personal affirmation such as “I’m married to Beyonce (or Brad Pitt)” or “I’m the richest person in the world” are unrealistic.

Some things may not be physically possible, for example if you are short, it may be unrealistic to write, “I’m a basketball superstar.” There is a difference however between unrealistic and unlikely or farfetched. Don’t fear to have big dreams; to set BIG goals.

And so, while it may not be realistic to aim to become the richest man or woman in the world, it isn’t unrealistic to aim to become a millionaire. You only need to be sure it’s achievable; and that this goal has a time frame attached to it.

Affirmations must be timely. The subconscious mind works with specifics and you need to tell it the date by which you have achieved your goal. So, for example, “I’m a pop star at the age of 33.”

Affirmations must be specific.  The more specific your affirmations, the easier it will be for your subconscious mind to turn them into reality. An example would be to write, “It’s February 26th 2017 and I have just sold the 3,000th copy of my book, “How To Grow Your Bank Account 10 Minutes A Day With Abundance Affirmations”. Not, “I have sold thousands of copies of my “How To Grow Your Bank Account 10 Minutes A Day With Abundance Affirmations.”

Always frame your affirmations using Positive statements. Your subconscious mind is a powerful tool, but like we saw, garbage in, garbage out. Never use affirmations that are couched in negatives; statements like “I don’t lack creativity” or “I don’t get late for appointments”.  The risk with using statement such as these is that your subconscious mind could cotton onto the negative aspect and drive your conscious mind in that direction! So an affirmation statement such as “I’m early for my appointment at 9:00am with Jonny.” is much better than writing “I won’t be late for my appointment at 9:00am with Jonny.”

Don’t think about the HOW when you write down your personal affirmations. Trying to figure out how you will achieve these goals as you write your affirmations is not advisable and you should not do it. It’s for your subconscious mind to figure out the steps needed to achieve these goals. Simply write these goals down and say them out loud with belief and conviction each night and every morning.

This gives your subconscious mind all the information it needs to drive the agenda for achieving these goals. Stories have been told of people who slept on a tough problem that defied solution, only to wake up one morning with the problem “miraculously” solved in their mind! So, don’t belabor the HOW when you write your affirmations. Remember, your subconscious mind knows the answers to all questions. In “The Power of Your Subconscious Mind”, Dr Joseph Murphy in fact recommends making that last statement itself one of your affirmations. That you should get into the habit of saying,

“My subconscious mind has all the answers. It is responding to me now. I give thanks because I know the Infinite Intelligence of my subconscious knows all things and is revealing the perfect answer to me now. My real conviction is now setting free the majesty and glory of my subconscious mind.  I rejoice that it is so.”

This is one swell of an affirmation if you can get to remember all the lines! It ticks all the right boxes…

In this one affirmation you are affirming your gratitude, joy, conviction, expectancy, and trust that it will all work out…that you’ll attract and get what you want.

I previously mentioned the word miraculously and at this point I feel I should elaborate further. How you achieve these goals may not be obvious when you write your affirmations. So why should you leave it to chance if you are not expecting a miracle?

I’m hoping that anybody reading this in 2017 has heard of the Law of Attraction. Basically what happens is that once your subconscious mind has been “primed,” opportunities start presenting themselves to you that are exactly in tune with your goals, that help propel you towards achieving “the life of your dreams.” This subject has been covered a lot lately.

  1. Writing and applying your affirmations is not enough if you do not open the door to possibilities. So, you have to open yourself to opportunities. One word comes to mind – serendipity. Things have a way of happening when you put yourself in situations where they can happen. Let’s say you want to meet the woman of your dreams. This isn’t going to happen unless you get out there where you can meet women.


The thing is that once you write your affirmations and begin to suggest changes to your subconscious mind, opportunities will begin to present themselves that are in line with what you want to achieve in life, that tie in with what you have written in your personal affirmation statement.


But here’s the crux: you then have to take action to follow through when the opportunities present themselves. You have to open your eyes to snatch those opportunities as they are presented to you as a result of practicing your personal affirmations.

  1. Number eight is about leveraging the power of visualization. If you want a detailed guide on how to leverage visualization, here’s the link: https://amzn.to/2NAIGlW


But briefly, it’s not enough for you to think and believe in what you are suggesting to your subconscious mind. A picture, as you know, speaks louder than a thousand words. And visualizing whatever it is you want to achieve before you achieve it is a powerful self-motivator. To conclude this mini-guide on how to practice personal affirmations, let me give you a few examples in some of the key areas of life.

Business, Money, Personal Finances Affirmation Example:

“I’m debt-free and I enjoy a steady monthly income of $4,000, thanks to my home-based business.”

Family Income and Financing A New Home Affirmations Example:

“I have a beautiful new home in the Buckhead in Atlanta [= your dream place to leave] where my family and I enjoy a cozy existence, with prosperous neighbors.”

Social/Cultural (“Become your own Boss”) Affirmation E`xample:

“Because I work for myself, I’m able to travel anywhere I want, visiting beautiful places in Asia, Europe & Africa.”

Fitness & Health (Exercise Motivation) Affirmation Example:

“I realize that my health is very important and I take a brisk walk one kilometer to and fro every day to stay in shape.”

This hopefully gives you a good idea how to apply personal affirmations for your self-development. Let me end this short guide with Zig Ziglar’s quote on motivation. What he said about motivation is relevant to your personal affirmations.

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”… Zig Ziglar

How to Grow Your Wealth & Well-being With Abundance Affirmations (2)

Here are some example abundance affirmations you can model to start re-inventing yourself and creating your own life.

A few examples of sentences:

“I am ready for abundance.”

“Every day I repeat my Abundance Affirmations!”

“I am a rich person”

“I love the energy of money.”

“Money enhances my positive power.”

“I love life.”

“I am a loving person.”

“I am successful and I love it.”

“My life is a success-story.”

“I am a beautiful, loveable human being.”

“I am successful in everything I do.”

“I am willing and daring to go all the way.”

“I will reach my goals, joyfully and easily.”

“I am always reaching my goals in one way or another.”

“I am joyfully receiving wealth and abundance in my life.”

“I am moving towards money.”

“I am creating money in my life.”

“It is great to have money!”

“I love myself.”

“I love all beings on this planet.”

“I am so happy to be alive.”

“I am creating riches to share with the whole world, because it is my joy to share.”

“Every day and in every way I am getting better and better.”

If you need help with how to use personal affirmation and the guidelines for creating affirmations that work, read this article.

This article is adapted from an article originally written by Oyvind Hennum

How to Grow Your Wealth & Wellbeing With Abundance Affirmations

Abundance affirmations are a powerful tool that you can use to change your life. An abundance affirmation is a statement that you are repeating over and over again till it becomes a part of your truth. The abundance affirmation becomes more powerful when it is stated with a feeling behind it. It is not enough to repeat it like a parrot, or on automatic.

The best way of repeating the abundance affirmations is to first bring yourself into a relaxed state of mind, before you start with your affirmations. A simple technique is to sit down in a chair, relax your breathing and close your eyes.

Then start to focus on your own breath by breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth. When you breathe in, follow the breath all the way down in your belly, feeling that your belly expands with the in breath. Then breathe out through your mouth. To go deeper into relaxation, open your mouth and make a soft sound of aaahhh, while you breathe out. Do this while you are counting up to ten, and then back to one again, counting one number on each out-breath.

Then you are ready to start with your abundance affirmations. Take the sentence you chose and repeat it ten times, one time on each out breath. After you have repeated your sentence, go on with your next one, and do the same for every sentence. Pick only a few sentences to work with till you feel they have become a part of you, and then you can pick new sentences to work with.

After you have done your abundance affirmations session it is important to show your gratitude to Existence (or God) and yourself by saying: “Thank you for making this a part of my life”. An affirmation of gratitude is the most powerful abundance affirmation. This is a prayer that works, because you are stating who you are. If you are only repeating what you would like to be true, you may repeat forever without effect.

The effect comes when you allow yourself to believe that what you are stating actually is true. It takes quite some faith to do this, because you are stating a truth about yourself that you cannot see or experience yet. Anyway you will have to gain such clarity and focus, determination and drive, towards what you desire to create with your abundance affirmations, that there is no doubt in you that this will come true.

This is your new reality, and it starts with you believing and then seeing and experiencing. Not the other way round, which has been the common standard amongst human beings for a long time: “Let me see it, and I will believe you”.

You know now that this is not how it works. It works the other way around and it starts with you. With your abundance affirmations you are stating who you are, right now. This is how you create your own reality.

You are doing this all the time on an unconscious level; your thoughts about yourself create who you are. This is the reason that so many things seem to happen to you. You are giving yourself all the time affirmations that you are not conscious about, in the way you are thinking about yourself. Unconscious negative thought patterns create your reality as easy as your conscious positive statements about yourself.

That is why it is important to make your statements in a positive way, with positive words. E.g. “I am not a smoker any more” (which sounds like you would still like to be one!) works with a negative connotation “not”. Not rejects a part of yourself and does not include all sides of you. A positive and creative and supportive way of making this statement would be: “I am living a healthy and happy life without cigarettes”.

If you are still a smoker and you would like to live a happy life without cigarettes I suggest you should stop. Now! There will never be a right moment other than Now! Then in the next moment you state proudly and to the whole world: “I have stopped smoking and I will never touch a cigarette again, in my whole life!

Wow, what a determination and intention behind that statement! You mean business! Do this and stick to it and you will never smoke again.

When you do this abundance affirmations exercise and you set yourself goals and pursue them, you will most probably have all your judgments and negative thoughts coming to the surface.

Things like: “Yeah, yeah good luck smart ass” and “You are dreaming, buddy”, or: “This is bullshit, it will never work” and similar thoughts are likely to interrupt you and put obstacles on your way to success.

Take a closer look at the second judgment: “You are dreaming, buddy”. That one has some truth in it. When a new thought enters your mind, it can feel like a vague dream. You see yourself a place where you really would like to be, and you immediately discern the thought as a dream.

By discerning the thought you stop your new thought about yourself from becoming reality. It works in a very simple way: The universe copies your thoughts into reality! Your strongest thought becomes reality; even the underlying ones that you are not aware of will do so.

In this way you become what you think. Understand this principle and you’ll be already a good step ahead in changing your reality.

That said, understanding is not enough. You need to take action as well to change. And the most beneficial action you can take is to grow awareness about yourself and your thought patterns.

Then you will more easily be able to catch yourself thinking a negative thought or doing a negative action. Negative thoughts look like: “You don’t have money so you have no right, who do you think you are?” “Money is bad and filthy any way”. “I will never make it to get money together”, etc.

When you catch yourself thinking like this, simply change the thought by will. Say to yourself: “Okay, here we go again, the old record is playing again”. Accept that this side will always be a part of you, but that now you are going to be in charge of this record player. That means you want to choose what thoughts you are thinking.

This may sound like brainwashing – and that is in fact what it is. You clean out the negative thought patterns and replace them with positive ones. But don’t worry, your negative thoughts will sneak up on you again before you know it, so don’t think you are losing a part of yourself by doing some brainwashing.

You are simply gaining control over your own thoughts. Saying a negative sentence about yourself works the same way as thinking a negative thought; it creates your reality even stronger than the thought you had before you spoke it out loud. “I’m broke and I don’t know how to get it together this month, I have loads of bills and my job sucks and pays lousy”. When you say this loud, the universe copies your statement and that is the reality you are creating.

Still, it is too quick to think that just by you saying: “My job is great and I can pay all my bills easily”, things will change instantly for you. This will not be the case. Simply lying about a fact in your life, like having a lot of unpaid bills does not change your situation.

You need to rephrase your statement like: “I am making it my priority to pay my bills this month, because my economic situation is not looking very good right now. I am actively working on changing it, and I am also looking for a better job, while I keep doing the one I have now, the best I can”.

Change also your negative thoughts around bills. Bills are blessings! They are a physical proof that someone else trusts your ability to pay! That is more trust than you have in yourself when you think and talk negatively about them. Someone else allows you to buy or do something and says: “You can pay later, we trust you”, by sending you a bill! They might not say the words but that is what their action means.

That bills are blessings does not mean that you should collect as many as possible. Rather do it the other way around. Always look for ways to minimize your expenses and learn from other people who manage to pay their bills easily. They are obviously doing something you are not!

As for the statement that your job “sucks”, it definitely will not become better from you repeating negative affirmations about it! Think of your job as a springboard, a starting point for the rest of your career. Do your absolute best as long as you are there and see it as a possibility rather than something that holds you back.

What I mean with possibility is that the job covers your day-to-day expenses while you are looking around for new possibilities. While you are in the job, take it on one hundred percent and be fully behind it. Give always a bit more than you get paid for. That is an incredible powerful statement to yourself, your employer and to the universe. Your statement and action says: “I always do my best and that gives me the opportunity to choose exactly what I would like to work with”. That is a real abundance affirmation.

A negative action would be to stay in the job and be resentful about it, blaming the world for giving you such a lousy job. Complaining and blaming others for your own situation is absolutely the best way to stay stuck in it. Simply stop it! Start thinking, talking and acting in a constructive way and you will see your reality changing. May be it will take some time before you get a new job or can pay all your bills easily, but the feeling about the issue will change immediately.

The situation is no longer a huge problem, because you changed your perception about it. In fact your situation is just that: a fact – not a problem. And this fact can change when you understand and apply the laws of creation. Think, talk and act oriented towards solution and your “problem” with money will be solved.

Now, in the meanwhile, your mind probably goes: “It cannot be this easy, I don’t believe it”. This is okay; you just don’t have to listen to it and can decide to become the creator of your life situation instead of the victim of it. By victim I mean a victim of circumstances, seemingly out of your control.

This is a very common perception about life: life just happens to you! And you can do nothing about it! If you recognize yourself here, it is time to look a bit deeper! Deep down in the subconscious, where your statement about the world creates your reality. Saying “Life just happens to me, and I can do nothing about it”, gives you not only very little choice, but also gives you the “benefit” of not having to take responsibility for your life.

If you are tired of living like this, then take action. Say to yourself: “I am responsible for my life, and I am going to become the creator of my life, I am no longer a victim”. From there on you can start to move into a different and new dimension of your life: the one that you yourself are creating by using abundance affirmations!

In the next part of this mini-guide I will give you good example abundance affirmations  you can customize to suit your unique situation so you can get started in no time creating the life you want for yourself. Click here.

8 Ways To Build Your Child’s Confidence

Here’s one of the best bits of parenting advice you’ll ever find: “a confident child is more likely to be a success in life, more likely to be liked in life, and more likely to be happy in life”.

Isn’t that what you want? Because for most parents their success is defined by the children they raised.

Maybe you have asked yourself the question, “why do some parents and children succeed, while others fail?”

There are any number of reasons why some of us under-achieve and never reach our success goals, but for many of us it can be said that we weren’t encouraged to be all that we could be. That blame falls squarely on us the parents…

I will be showing you shortly why self-confidence should be nurtured, literally from the baby’s cradle, but first, here’s why it is so critical for future success.

Michael Jordan is probably the most successful basketball player of all time. Here’s what he said about aspiration and confidence:

“You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.” ~ Michael Jordan

See where I’m going with this? Unless you believe you can win, you’re unlikely ever to try. “Air Jordan” had to believe he could fly before he took to the air… before he could soar and succeed. Today, Nike has several product lines inspired by his fame and success…

child self-confidence and self-esteem

We earn self-confidence by excelling at the little things, until we’re ready to take on the bigger challenges. As kids grow, these “little things” could be stuff like getting up on time in the morning (or going to bed on time at night); eating healthier food; doing their homework for 30 minutes or so a day, or managing their play time with the other kids, etc.

These little challenges help prepare the child to meet life’s bigger challenges – and they’re something any child has the power to achieve, no matter what their circumstances may be.

According to confidence coach Steve Errey (The Code: For a Sweet & Beautiful Life), “your confidence works like a muscle. Use it and it grows, don’t use it and it shrinks.”

Of course, with exercising your kid’s“confidence muscle” you want to give him/her a great head start. But remember you can’t give what you don’t have, and in the second section of this article we’ll look at why as a parent it is your responsibility to develop your parenting skills and build up your own confidence, so you can encourage your kids to be all they can be.

First though, here are 7 parenting tips to build up confidence in your child:

1 – Always praise your child for the things he does right. Even if they are little things, make them important and let her know that he did well.

“Perhaps once in a hundred years a person may be ruined by excessive praise, but surely once every minute someone dies inside for lack of it.” ~ Cecil G. Osborne

2 – Let your child do things. Even if he is not quite ready to do certain tasks, help him make a start and don’t worry if it doesn’t turn out right.

This is a good time to instill in children the notion that when trouble happens – like when they try to walk and fall as toddlers – they must get back up, put themselves back on the path towards success, and put their fall behind them.

When you get right down to it, it really doesn’t matter how often you fall – what matters is how often you get up and keep going.

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” ~ Albert Einstein

3 – Believe in your child and let him or her know it! Don’t pressurize him/her to be something he/she can’t be. Just let your child know that you believe in his or her ability to (occasionally) do great things.

This is a great time to teach our children to demand the best from themselves… to push the envelope.

4 – Only criticize a behavior – not the child. Always avoid too much criticism of your child when he or she does things wrong. It’s much better to criticize the behavior – that way the child can distance what they do from what they are.

5 – Show an interest in your child’s interests. They will probably be boring to you, and you may not understand them. But they are important to him/her, so show a respect and interest in the things he/she does. And use this opportunity to find your child’s talents – the things he or she is exceptionally good at.As the parent you are well placed to recognize budding talent in your kid that he or she will not even be aware of.

Maybe you get lucky and experience what Daniel Coyle calls the Holy Shit Effect, HSE. Here’s how he defined it:

“The HSE is the feeling of seeing talent bloom in people who we thought were just like us.

It’s the tingle of surprise you get when the goofy neighbor kid down the street is suddenly lead guitarist for a successful rock band, or when your own child shows an inexplicable knack for differential calculus. It’s the feeling of, where did that come from?” ~ Daniel Coyle, in The Talent Code

6 – Accept your child’s fears and insecurities. Never belittle them or brush them aside. Remember the time when you were young and the things that made you afraid – and try to understand.

That said, you need to watch out for these four insidious fears that stop success in its tracks – Fear of Failure, Fear of Success, Fear of the Unknown, and Fear of Confrontation.Most of these fears have their roots in poor self-image as well as self-limiting beliefs. Don’t ever allow these fears to bloom in your child. You can always remind your kid:

“Regardless of how you feel inside, always try to look like a winner. Even if you are behind, a sustained look of control and confidence can give you a mental edge that results in victory.” ~ Arthur Ashe

7 – They say laughter is the best medicine, and it is.

That’s why you should always laugh with your child and never at him or her. Healthy laughter is a wonderful way to bond tightly. It is also something you will both thoroughly enjoy.

There… seven tips how to build confidence in your child. Now let’s flip this coin!

But remember, I said to give you eight? This eighth is also probably the most important.

Here’s a strange little lesson from the world of aviation and air travel. It used to strike me as odd – but really, it makes perfect sense.

If you are a regular flier, or you have flown recently, you’ll know what I mean. The plane is taxiing along for takeoff and the cabin crew are going through the pre-flight safety routine.

The odd bit I’m referring to is when they tell you what to do with the oxygen masks in the event of the cabin losing pressure. Now, all decent parents would feel the urge to see to their children first. It’s a natural instinct.

After all, you regularly hear of adults throwing themselves down to push a child out of the way of an oncoming truck, with no heed for their own safety. That’s how we are all hired-wired… to do what we have to do to save the next generations.

So what advice are parents given in the airliner?

See to your own oxygen mask first. In other words, see to your own safety and then look after the kids.

Yes, it used to strike me as odd – but when you think about it, it makes perfect sense.

Your kids need you to look after them. And you’re no use to anyone if, whilst trying to assist them, you’re struggling to breathe and start to lose consciousness.

The common sense rule is: see to yourself first – that way you’ll be in a better position to help others. And that way you all stand a better chance of survival.

And so it is with parenting skills.

You want to have the best parenting skills for your family. And while you’re at it, you want to overcome all your family problems and challenges.

Most parents mean well. They want the best. But often they overlook the obvious:

You must first of all look to yourself.

Probably the best parenting skills you can develop are high self-esteem and confidence.

Yes, for you, yourself, not your family.

Their development and confidence will follow on naturally from yours.

Because with high self-esteem and confidence you’ll be relaxed, self-assured, assertive, and you’ll cope in a crisis.

And all these qualities will be like music to your family’s ears! A Mom and Dad who are relaxed, confident and caring in their parenting activities will produce relaxed, confident and caring children.

But today there is a wave of anxiety, fear and panic, not just among parents, but in society in general.

Ask yourself just how confident you are in tackling your parenting projects.

Why not boost your parenting skills by boosting yourself first and foremost? Whether you’re a Mom or a Dad, or even if you want to do this together as a couple, there’s a wealth of resources available.

The more effective your parenting skills, the more balanced and productive our citizens!

And you know what?

Your kids will love you for it!Remember, a confident child is a happy one, more likely to be liked in life, and more likely to succeed in life. Confidence is a wonderful parenting style to apply to your little one today. Raise an achiever… and that will define your own success!

Recommended resources:

Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents: 7 Ways to Stop the Worry Cycle and Raise Courageous and Independent Children

Trauma-Proofing Your Kids: A Parents’ Guide for Instilling Confidence, Joy and Resilience

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